Diagnosis...delusional.

Last week I found a lump on Zeus' shoulder. Now, being the panic disorder person that I am, I freaked out. Ok, I haven't been medically diagnosed with panic disorder, geezzz! But I do panic...and it does cause disorder in my life a whole lot. Anyway, back to the lump. So, I am nervously feeling around trying to diagnose "the best dog in the world-another animal could not possibly hold a candle to this dog", all the while trying to keep calm on the outside and to hide just how crazy my mind goes at the thought of something bad. He has had cysts before, but this was no cyst. I knew what a cyst felt like, and this was not a cyst!!!!(my mind racing). Luckily, I had an appointment with the vet already scheduled to get the dogs' nails trimmed the following week, so I tried to put it in the back of my mind until then. In all actuality, I diagnosed Zeus with cancer the second my fingers felt the lump in the first place, but in accordance with the rules and regulations of sane people, I attempted to look on the bright side of things and realize that it was probably nothing....Didn't work for me. The next few days went by, but the fact that my dog had a cancerous lump on his shoulder lurked in the front of my mind. He seemed super tired and his eyes looked so much more sad than his normal eyes did. "Omg, its the cancer", I thought. Then last night, the night before his appointment at the vet, he threw up. This was going right along with my diagnosis. I was so worried about my little buddy! Today was the appointment at the vet. I got Zeus and Fritz ready to go, dreading what I was going to hear about Zeus. As the vet examined him, I told her about the lump. She felt around and found it. She was really quiet and she examined the lump for what felt like 10 minutes before she said something. She just looked at me and said, "I'll be right back". I nervously waited and she appeared back in the room with a small device. I held Zeus and got ready for the bad news. The device beeped and she made a diagnosis. Zeus' cancer was........his microchip. That's right folks. His microchip. I am such a neurotic, crazy lady that I diagnosed my dog's microchip as a cancerous lump. What is wrong with me?! I don't know, but whatever it is...its exhausting. Wowzers.

On another note, its Valentine's Day today and Lucas sent me flowers :) And even though I pretend to be a cold-hearted biatch that grimaces at nice gestures and doesn't like anything sweet or sappy, my heart smiled when I saw them. Thank God for Luke, who never fails to ride the waves of insanity with me and who gives me flowers to stare at instead of a cancerous microchip on my dog's shoulder.