Gay Marriage and Dog Breeds

I am quite sure that I will perhaps regret writing this post, but I'd really like to hear some opinions.

Unless you have recently visited Pluto, you have probably heard the recent commotion about gay marriage. I know I have. Everyone is real, real angry at North Carolina right about now. I've seen people talking about this issue, then leave the conversation and immediately stick their finger in an electrical outlet and start eating erasers off of pencils. Its bad out there.

The point is, they are frazzled and pissed!

While I know there are varying opinions from here to there and all in between, in a recent conversation, someone said that they just wanted it to be called something different if two men or two women were to wed. Like, not "marriage". These people can be married in their opinion, but they have to make a new word for it because "marriage" is taken damnit! **and then they threw their lollipop in the dirt and stomped away** Now, with the risk of getting anthrax mailed to me, I'll say my opinion on the issue.

 I don't care who gets married. As far as the religious standpoint; well, "us religious people" can't pick and choose what we want to uphold from the Bible, in my opinion. Sorry. Would I love for everyone to live exactly as God would like us to live? Yes. But I'd also like 765 billion to magically appear in my bank account tonight also and well, that's not going to happen. Nobody, even the most religious people in the world, knows exactly how God wants us to treat other people, so we have to just do the best we can. I care a whole lot more about abortion and the death penalty than I do if a man wants to sign a freaking piece of paper and marry another man. Or woman and woman. Gah, I always feel like I have to be all-inclusive. But let me tell you, its all fun and games until the marriage certificate is signed! ;)

BUT, I can see the point of the person who just wants it to be called something different. I know, you just slammed your hands on your keyboard and started sweating when you just read that, but come on. It is kind of like calling all dogs Miniature Schnauzers. I mean, not all dogs are schnauzers. Some are German Shepherds and some are Poodles. Okay, now you're really mad because I've made a dog comparison. I just said I didn't care who got married or on what planet they chose to live!

So, do you think the nation could stop ripping each other's heads off if gay marriage was simply called something different? What's your opinion? Why? And yes, I realize there is much more to the issue than just what its called. But this is my blog and I run the discussion around here! Its not a democracy. Hehe. Kidding sheesh. Lawdamercy its always something around here. (America) If we're not mad about the war and the economy, then its gas prices, and if its not gas prices, its how much Beyonce spent on a room to birth her blue baby or that Octomom had 8 babies while she was on welfare or how much New Jersey paid for Whitney Houston's funeral. I wonder if we will ever just calm the eff down?

And, can I just add that I haven't stopped laughing at Obama since he decided today that he supports gay marriage. I'll back that up with the fact that I've been at work and haven't been able to read or watch the news, so perhaps there is something I'm missing, but I am pretty sure that he just realized this is an election year. I felt sorry for people who fell for his exquisite speaking ability and charming personality during the last election year and I feel sorry for them now. Bless.

Okay, now that I've made you mad...ta-ta! Delete me if you have to! And for the record, I love Jesus and I love human rights! (Not as much as animal rights, but still...)

I sing to my fish

Today I was talking to a friend, who like me, is living away from her family and friends. We talk often about our struggles with finding a "home" where in fact, a home isn't. We both realize we should be able to feel comfort and contentment since we are with the person that we love and both have talked about our guilt for not being the best at adjusting to new places. And we also tend to talk about the end of the world and how we are at a weird place in our lives. On Fridays, we both make up award ribbons for our significant others for dealing with us. Okay, not really, but maybe its something I'll ponder when I finish pondering 3,243 other things.

Come on give me a break. I have two very demanding dogs, one fish that won't eat his food unless I'm singing to him, borderline hypochondria (says some...I vehemently deny this), germophobia, fears galore---including natural disasters, life after death, and choking my husband on the dry chicken breast I gave him for dinner---On top of these, I try really hard to be semi-normal for at least 3 days a week in the presence of my husband. You try living in my world and see if you don't sit in the corner drooling.

Anyway, the point of this blog is because my conversation with my friend today included worrying. She was worrying about what the future will bring. I worry about everything too, maybe that's why we are friends? No, I'm friends with her because she is pretty. Just kidding! Lawdamercy, calm down.

I worry about whether the world will ever have peace. I worry about the fate of animals and children in sad situations.  I worry about if Louie the First (our fish) has a big enough bowl or is happy swimming alone in his bowl all day. I worry big and small. I also am worried at this particular moment because Husband thinks that the Krispy Cream doughnuts that we bought on Saturday are no longer good. There are two left and he wants to throw them away. So today, I am worried that he will beat me home and chunk the little pieces of bliss before I can get home to save them. See? It's a jungle in here. (meaning my mind.)

I've gotten off topic again. Geez. The point is!!!...**now I'm stopped to remember what the point really was**...Okay, so about worrying: Worrying is not something I feel that I will be able to ever stop. As I'm sure many of you have finished this thought for me and added the thought that I should probably be committed to a room with cushioned white walls for the remainder of my days which is valid. But, shockingly enough, I don't worry about the future of my life and where its going. I think about it. But I can't say that I dwell on it much. I know my husband is shaking his head as he reads this because he is quite the little future-planner. Which can account for why he had to teach me what an IRA was and how I should have a lot more money in my non-existent one at this point in my life. IRA? or IRS? Crap.

Anyway. Pretend we are in a jungle (which = life in this example, not my mind as refered to in the example above). I tend to float about through the trees kind of like one of those fluffy little white things that float through the air and go where the wind blows them, bouncing about and saying "Wheeeeeee" and only stopping to enjoy a quick nap on a glorious tree limb with my koala friend. While Husband brings an army, a backhoe, an oil drill, night-vision goggles, an architect, a 7 year supply of food and water, and a Chuck Norris pocket knife with him. So as you can see, there is a slight bit of a difference here.

I have gotten to where I am in life not because I planned it out to the minute, and truthfully, I am quite lucky to be where I am especially with my dreamer mentality. During my conversation with my friend, I was telling her that I used to question that saying "What's meant to happen, will happen." I mean, it sort of makes you want to karate-chop it most of the time doesn't it? Especially when you're sitting on the side of the road with a flat tire...in the pouring rain...when you should be at an interview....for a job that you need...to buy bread. BUT, I *think* that I believe the saying. I don't know what my life holds for me. I don't know where its going and where it will lead and what I'll have to go through to find out. And right now, it really doesn't necessarily make sense to me and I ask myself a lot what I should be doing and what the point of all this is. But, a little tiny voice in the back of my head tells me someday it will. Someday I'll know. Now whether or not that voice is one of my undiagnosed split personalities, I do not know. Its probably another thing I should ponder though.

If you find yourself in a situation or a part of life that is totally confusing and you wonder why you even came through the birth canal...know that you aren't alone. At least two other people on the planet feel the same way as you! (me and the other person that whispers to me...just kidding!! don't call the mental health authorities!)

I am a firm believer that your plans for life are just that...plans. Just because you plan every step out doesn't mean that's what will actually happen. I think God has a plan (or Mother Nature..or the Universe...or Buddha..I mean, I can't go on forever people, just insert your higher power here and don't be offended). My Grandma would drop her cinnamon bun and do a flip in her recliner if she knew I included all those names. :-/ This blog has an open-mind, Grandma!!

Finishing up, I look back at my life the last ten years; a life that I am often criticized for and poked fun of a little, mainly for taking forever to finish college, hiding under beds when there was a decision to be made, avoiding choosing a career, eating Cheetos for lunch, and not planning for my future. Sounds bad, I guess. I stayed in relationships longer than I should have and went out at night when I should have stayed home and read books like "How To Be An Adult 101...for Dummies...I'm looking at YOU, Jenny" I know I didn't plan, but even with my floating through my twenties, I am exactly where I probably should be even if I don't understand it.

 (Not saying I wouldn't love to be a famous writer already husband-who-is-appalled-at-my-IRA-account-balance! Err, uhh hmm, love you. See you when I get home. What would you like for dinner? Perhaps some extra dry chicken?)

But if I would have changed one little thing about my past, I wouldn't be who I am now. I wouldn't have grown into the person I am. So I try to keep that in mind these days, as I sit, staring at doorknobs in my house and worrying about the fact that they don't match the towel rods in the bathroom, wondering what the point of all this is. I know life is taking me somewhere. And I know I'll figure it out when I get there.

Now, I hope you feel better about your life. That's my good deed for the day. Carry on.

"You is smart."

"One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else".

I found this on a blog today, actually because Ashton Kutcher referenced it on his twitter (yes, there is your window on how interesting my life is right about now [insert long sigh]).

Anyway, I love it because for me, its so true. I am not like anyone else. No, really. I mean, I'm really not like most other people. I look like everyone else and I act like everyone else, but deep down, when you really get to know me, I'm a strange cookie. Just ask Luke :-/  I like that I'm not blindly fitting into a mold that everyone else has made for themselves, but if I'm being honest, it can get a little lonely actually. And pretty confusing sometimes. It can certainly lead to self-doubt as you question why you aren't happy doing the things that other people seem to be so happy doing that you swear you actually see a ray of sunshine streaming from their ass.

Sometimes I find myself (or other people in my life) trying to make my life, my interests, my aspirations match the people that one would claim to be "normal" or "successful". And when I do this, I generally end up feeling like a fish trying to drive a car or something.

Anyway, I have to thank my mama for always making me feel like my weirdness makes me special and that its okay to not take the same path in life as everyone thinks you should.

"You is kind. You is smart. You is important."--The Help

Loveee that movie! This reminds me of my childhood. Mainly because I was so tender-hearted that everyday my mama would have to give me a little pep talk because someone at school hurt my feelings. My, my, how things have changed. 

And more recently I have to thank my husband for holding my hand (and sometimes kicking me in the ass) so that I don't get lost in my head where dogs rule the world and colorful things are all it takes to make me happy.



Hence....

my new bag.

Tee hee :)

We all have our own streaks of weird and our own way of doing things, but I have to remind myself often that just because its the right way for one person, doesn't mean its the right way for me. And I've found that when I find people that comprehend this concept and that understand the fact that everyone doesn't have to wear the same "happy face", it makes me cherish them even more.

Looking for someone? This may help!

Remember, if your sense of humor is hiding and has been for the last 10 years, this isn't the place for you, little pumpkin.

Here's what I think--

The more one talks about, advertises, and tries to convince others that they:

a) are a wonderful example of a Christian
b) are in the greatest relationship ever known to man
c) shop all the time
d) are so busy that they don't know what to do
e) have an exciting life
f) are working out every day all day
g) have a lot of money
h) ate a healthy meal

....the more I know that they:

a) can be found at a bar with a hooker the night before church
b) can be found, ahem, anywhere but together in a year or two and in the meantime, probably with the wonderful example of a Christian above and yes, the hooker too
c) can be found at yard sales in wealthy neighborhoods (no, nothing wrong with that!), fighting with their husband about money on any given day, getting served divorce papers
d) can be found on the couch 20 hours a day
e) can be found on the couch crying 20 hours a day
f) can be found maybe at a gym staring at themselves in a mirror, but probably in the vicinity of the couch
g) can be found arguing with their partner about money, divorcing their partner for spending all their money, divorcing their partner because he/she no longer has any money, or the most likely answer, working as a janitor and selling drugs on the side.
h) can be found at the greasiest food place in town, then on their couch with powdered donuts all over their face

The point is...people that have and are and do, simply do not feel the need to gush about what they have and what they do and what they are and how many crunches their monstrous abs did today at the gym or how much their boyfriend loves them, or how busy they are.

I'm gonna go to bed now...I have a super busy day tomorrow that I have to prepare for. So if you're looking for me...I'll be with all the busy people.

Another day, another dollar? no, another...really special person.

Today I went to get my nails done, you know, just wanting a normal day at the nail salon, but no, I left swimming in influenza. I walked in and there were no customers, which isn't really surprising since nail places are popping up faster than those gross little mushrooms that suddenly infest your pretty front yard in the summertime. Anyway, there is a girl that seemingly works there, listening to an ipod while eating this cookie thing that was shaped like a straw. She asked me what I needed, I told her and I sat down. After two different women came up and asked me again what I wanted, she plopped down in the chair in front of me sucking on a cookie straw. She then started telling me about how far she has to drive to work, and her boyfriend was gonna pick up her son because he got fired from his second job, but if he didn't then she was gonna have to ask the baby's daddy because it would be an hour before she got home if she had to go all the way over there...and so on and so forth. Now, I usually have this inate ability to make people shut up in front of me. But really, I didn't have it today. And I don't know why. She asked me questions, good lawd did she ask me questions! Where was I from? Did I live around here? Why did I leave my husband in Korea? Didn't Korea have anything fun? Do I "got" a kid with him? (my husband) "Do" Korea have lots of nice restaurants? *sighhh* I was actually just so taken aback by her, that I think I lost my "look" that I give when I just want to be left alone. If I had it, she didn't seem to notice. Thennnnn, she coughs on me. Ok, strike 1 biatch! I am a germophobe and I don't appreciate you spraying my face with your nastiness. Ughh! So, I am getting gel nail polish so every few minutes she has to stop and wait for my nails to dry under the UV light. Everytimeeee, my nails were drying, she would open up her little manicure box and start picking at her cuticles with one of the tools and then she would just put it right back, without washing it! Strike 2!! By the way, all she did was repaint my nails, so she wasn't using the tools on me. I would have freaked out! Next, she begins to file her toenails right in front of me...ummm, waittt. Is this actually happening? I'm actually paying for this experience.Thennn, she is checking my polish to see if its dry when she starts rubbing on her nose and sniffing. She said, "I think Im getting sick.." Then she shoves another cookie straw thing in her mouth. Strike 3!! I went home to bathe in bleach.

When I was leaving, this lady came in and yelled in an all out southern dialect, "I don't know how good you people can speak Aaanglish, but I'm diabetic! And if you cut me while you're givin' me a pedicure, I'm gone bleed like'a stuck hawg!" Baaaahahahaha. Bless her heart.

How do I stumble upon all the specialness of the world? And how do I make it stop? 

On another note, I am so excited for November that I can't stand it! I cannot wait for San Diego with Lucas <3

Country Music and Classy People

So, Luke and I went to a Kenny Chesney concert last weekend and as expected, there were all kinds of people that came out of the woods, trailor parks, and 1.4 million dollar homes, apparently...but I'll get to that later. I am always amazed, and really pretty overwhelmed in big crowds like that. I usually find that I can barely watch what I went to see for watching all the people that creep out to these events. There were what looked like 13-year-old girls with their butt cheeks peeking out of their shorts, as well as 55-year-olds with their butt cheeks, more falling than anything else, out of their shorts. Some of which I thought if the wind blew much harder, their cheeks would surely flap so hard in the wind, that they may indeed mistake it for an actual slap on the ass from Billy Bob, sitting next to them, and take it as a compliment. As the crowd started making their way to their seats, I really hoped that we wouldn't have weirdos sitting next to us for the whole concert! Well, you can't always get what you want, right? There were so many freaks around us...but just to name a few:

Betty Sue and Elvira- These two ladies were behind us and up a little, but they were there to partayyy. Clearly, they hadn't been out of the house since the 1980s. How do I know? Their hair, their make up, their clothes, their dancing, and their embarrassing desire to show all the hot men how hot they were. Only one problem, its 2011 and they are not 20 anymore. Nobody that has been out of the house within the last few decades would have acted like they had just been let out of a basement closet somewhere. They were the first to get up and start dancing like maniacs and giving the guys bedroom eyes, although it was a little hard to see through the blue eyeshadow and giant frizzy black permed hair. They did get the attention of a man though, and I'm pretty sure he had just left the Hooters tent and instead of wings, he had swallowed a whole hooters girl.

Tweedle-dee and Tweedle dumb- Next, these two women, probably mid to late 30s, sat down next to Luke. The redhead was having the time of her life flipping her hair around and taking pictures of all the boys half her age that were topless. Her friend was a little bit of a chubster and didn't seem to want the attention. The redhead asks Luke to take a picture and then tells him that "we have to get up and party with her!" Then she leans over and grabs Luke's chest and looks at me and says, "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to grab your...his chest....I'm so drunk..." Ok, not that big of a deal. The redhead then scooted by us bouncing with every step towards a younger man, while her friend scuttled behind her with her head down.

The Baptists- The Baptists were dressed like they were going to church in the deep south instead of a concert, which would be fine I guess, if they wouldn't have looked like it was so painful to actually be at the concert. They wouldn't move and really, I thought they must've fallen asleep for most of the show. I still can't figure out why they were there. The wife especially. She was clearly offended that they weren't singing hymns.

The very best, errr, worst of the night was right dead in front of us.

The Cougar and the Cupcake- With a daiquiri in hand and daughter in tow, the Cougar makes her way and sits down right in front of Luke. Complete with a bleach blonde pixie (with a giant pink flower growing out of the side of her head), a black dress, and flowered cowboy boots, she slowly updates her facebook status on her iphone (with her daughter's help) and slurped away at her drink. It was her daughter's 16th birthday and she was in a precious little yellow, frilly number with her boots and her crying mother by her side. The cougar told us all it was her daughter's birthday and she was a disaster. She was soooo sad that she had a 16-year-old. I saw that Ms. Cougar wasn't wearing a wedding ring and made the assumption (her need for attention and man-gawking helped with this) that she was fresh out of a divorce and living off a pretty penny from her rich ex-husband. Meanwhile, Cougar tries to pour Cupcake some of her daiquiri into a cup so that she can partake in the fun. She's 16 right!? That's old enough to drink with your cougar mom. This story continues a little later....

Bangs and her man- In front of me sat the weirdest of the weird. This poor woman, Lord help her, I don't know what in the hell happened to her hair, but good gawd it was awful! Picture bangs that start 3-4 inches from the hairline on the forehead...then taken and with the world's smallest curling iron, rolled until they looked like a hotdog. It was just one roll of sausage-hair. I can only hope it was an accident because she looked like she may have been a cast member in The Hills Have Eyes.  Her bangs literally started at the back of her head, and the rest of her hair (what wasn't rolled on her forehead) was in a little loop in a scrunchie on the back of her head. Okay...then, her husband comes up and is just all over her. He is decent-looking and clearly in the military by his proudly-worn buzz cut. They have another couple with them, who is, for an intents and purposes, normal looking. I hear Bangs' man lean over and tell her in her ear, "Don't you even worry about it. Don't let it bother you. You are the most beautiful woman here, don't you worry about all these other women. And you know why? Because you don't even have to try." I'm sorry, what?? What do you meeeeean, she doesn't have to try. *sigh* Did he not see the sausage dog laying on her head? Anyway, Bangs and her female friend start dancing and having a grand time. Bangs' man disappears for like an hour and comes back hammertimed. She sent him to get her a drink and kept looking around for him while he was gone. I am pretty sure he met some girls and was having a grand ole time minus Bangs and her sausage dog. He came back and told her the line was long or something and they continued their PDAs. Luke decided he had either just got caught cheating on her or just got home from a deployment.

Bang's man and The Cougar- I went to the bathroom, came back and Luke told me that the cougar told him "Don't get married, its not worth it." What a bitter bitch whore! Please go back to your mid-life disaster and your 1.4 million dollar mansion (which she told Luke she had just moved out of and didn't ask for it or money with the divorce...that's probably because she was having too much fun with her daughter's boyfriend and got caught!!! Pure speculation.) Anyway, by this time Kenny Chesney is onstage and everyone is standing up and dancing. Bangs' husband is kissing her and hugging her and may have well been humping her jeans and Cougar and Cupcake and dancing and smiling and laughing...then...Bangs' man reaches over and grabs Cougar's ass. Cougar looks over at him a little startled, then smiled and moved closer so he could have better access. WTF is going on? Luke and I can hardly watch the concert because we have some Jerry Springer shit going on right in front of us. Suddenly, Cupcake gets pulled into the middle of this sandwich between Bangs and her "semi-normal" friend. Cupcake is getting bounced around between these two women and I dunno, something about it just felt really, really strange. Meanwhile, Bangs' husband is kissing her while groping the Cougar, ahem, in the back and the front. After she got released from the estrogen sandwich, poor little Cupcake's little ruffles are just blowing in the wind while she dances with Mommy, and she has no clue that Mommy is letting Bangs' husband fondle her the entire time! It was appalling! And hilarious! The Cougar loved every minute of it. Hopefully Cupcake won't grow up to be like Mommy, but I kind of doubt it since Cougar was pointing out shirtless guys for Cupcake to see.

By the end of the night, Bangs was crying because her man went from telling her how beautiful she was to cussing her out over a set of car keys. He couldn't stand up anymore at that point. Elvira and Betty Sue left with Billy Bob (I'm pretty sure they fed him chicken wings all night long). The Cougar was crying again because Bang's man stopped grabbing her ass--or because Cupcake was 16, or because she had to move out of her mansion.

Class, class, class!