Just another day...being crazy.

This past summer, Zeus and Fritz were due for their rabies vaccination. Zeus is 5 and Fritz is 2 so this wasn't the first time they'd had it, so I wasn't even the slightest bit nervous.Well, fast forward to 5 minutes after the shot...Fritz was staring at me like usual wondering when we were going home, but Zeus got super sick really fast. First he started scratching his face like crazy, then he threw up...everywhere, then he just laid down. The vet was luckily still in the room and gave him medicine to counteract the vaccine because he was having an anaphylactic reaction to the rabies shot. Poor baby! It was so scary...the vet said he could have died. He bounced back pretty fast after the benadryl and steroid shot, but the same cannot be said for me. I am now scarred for life.

This week, they were due for two more vaccines. I was literally nervous all day and yes, you know by now that I am usually nervous about something and if there is nothing to be nervous about, I create something in my head. But this time, I felt certain that my nerves were justified. Zeus got one vaccine, but not the two he was due for because the vet was worried about another reaction so he had to get a blood test to test his antibodies for the parvo/distemper vaccine that they were scared to give him. If he has enough antibodies from his last shot, then he won't need another shot. High maintenance?? Yes, that is an understatement with the grey dog.....

Now to the black demon...

He got his vaccine and like always was unfazed...until we got home. Not to be outdone by his brother, he threw up 3 times in 5 minutes. At this point, my insanity kicked in and I am freaking out because I knew that when Zeus had his reaction, it got very bad, very fast. And all I could think of was that my sweet black furry little demonic dog was going to die. So, I call my vet's office that I just literally left like 5 minutes prior and of course, they don't answer as I am sure that 4:59 PM rolls around and they all flee out the door like a bomb will go off in the building if they don't get out before 5PM. When they don't answer, my head pops off and starts bouncing through our house. I mean, I know I am crazy, but I just can't stop the massive panic that has begun. I think as my head is rolling around our living room, I probably just kept repeating omg, omg omg. It seems a little much looking back, but at the time, it felt necessary. All the while, Luke is just standing there staring at me, trying to be the voice of reason. But the problem with his voice of reason was that he was so calm. He said, "Jenny, just calm down and call the emergency number the vet gave you." It was at this point that my spastic head, popped a wheelie on the kitchen floor and then turned red with anger. "Don't tell me to calm down! You don't even care that Fritz might die!" Geez. Uncalled for! But, I will say that when someone, like me for example, is overcome with worry...I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say that telling them to calm down may not be the best solution. I know it seems logical and all, but it actually has the opposite effect on me, personally.

So, I called the emergency number that the vet had given me in case Zeus had a reaction. *sigh* They said to bring him in.

We get on the stupid California freeway and of course, we sit in traffic for 30 minutes just to go three miles. Luke is holding Fritz and he just looks pitiful; Zeus is in the backseat looking at me like I'm an alien. And Luke is probably beside himself because he married such a lunatic, but thankfully doesn't say that.

After driving almost to flipping Mexico, we get to the emergency vet and not only does Fritz suddenly perk up, but starts wagging his little devil tail almost as if he is proud of himself for causing such a panic. We opt out of the $150 fee to take his doggie blood pressure and get back in the car and go home. While he was laid out in Luke's lap the entire time we drove to the vet, on the way home he sat up and looked out the window and growled at people in the cars next to us...


Not only do I feel like a totally unstable excuse for a person, but Luke witnessed the disaster that was me and well, that's a little embarrassing. Luckily, we are married and he can't just walk in the opposite direction as me and pretend he doesn't know who I am! Ha.  

He not only acts like a demon, but looks like one too!

Human or dog?...Human dog!

How can you not love this little baby dog?!? This is what I woke up to this morning :))

Sassy Suggestion Trois

Not that I'm feeling extra giving or thoughtful or charitable lately, (read why here), but occasionally, I do come out of my dark-filled room where I pout and collect chocolate wrappers. Surprising, I know. Ehh, anyway, the point is....even when stupid/bad/sad things are happening, I (we all) have things to be thankful for. And let me tell you, I know there are people much less fortunate than me. So its time to remember that 2012 is supposed to be about being happy and making the world better in some way. At least for me it is, which is why I write this stuff. So, in order to keep my agenda, I've left my pile of Snicker's minis and my spot in the corner today. Yes, I eat minis so that I can have more than 15 of them and still feel like I have only actually eaten one candy bar. Oh come on, pick your jaw up. There are more important things to do than to plan a chocolate intervention on me today!

Sassy Suggestion 3

1) Donate you old, dirty shoes to Nike! They reuse your shoes for building things like playgrounds. If you don't want to help build a playground then you shouldn't smile, ever again! If you don't have any old shoes, then you are forgiven. This is so easy and I have stared, drooling at my pile of old shoes for so long and just had no idea what to do with them except Goodwill or the trash can. And I'm kind of over Goodwill right now. Just kidding, calm down. But I do think that maybe being a little more creative with your shoes is better.

2) Since I have been in a cloudy mood, well, forever now....Haha, nooo, for a couple of weeks, I need to focus on the reasons why my life is great. And honestly, there are so many reasons. So today, and for as many days in 2012 as you can, you should take a minute to be thankful for what you have. And yes, I know we all do that in November by celebrating the fact that we completely STOLE America from the Indians. And really, as great as that whole thing is and was, I'm thinking something a little different. Maybe you have a mansion, be thankful biatch! (rolling my eyes!) Maybe you live in a shack but have a nice bootay, be thankful biatch! Maybe you have a wonderful husband or maybe you have a father that loves you or maybe you aren't homeless or lonely. Whatever it is, I am sure that you have something that makes you smile every single day. Let's dwell on those things for a while instead of all the bobo things. (repeating this to myself 10 times)

"The key to happiness is realizing that it's not what happens to you that matters, it's how you choose to respond." *Keith Harrell (duh! just a reminder)

"Giving...is a way of saying thank you to the world, and also a way of saying please. A pure, charitable gift will always be returned-many times over." *Suze Orman

Over. It.

Do you ever feel like your body is failing the shit out of you?? I mean, not just failing you, but really, really punching you with a fist full of suck right in the middle of your stomach?

No? Well, good for you. Bleh. Yes? Me too!!

This past month has been one of the most scary/disappointing/trying/emotional stupid months I have had in a long time. No, I don't feel like detailing it. I'm fine and I'm sure I'll blog your heads off about it later, but for now, I'll just say test after test after test for varying reasons and I am over it. And while there has been some good news to come out of the tests, its mostly just "This isn't normal." "This isn't working correctly." "This is doing a back flip in your stomach instead of the front flip that we like to see this particular organ doing." And blah blah blah.

Anyway, I thought that perhaps some of you have wanted to trade out your body for a different one before and wanted you to know that you are, in fact, not alone.

Ugh. Putting up my two middle fingers today. And, its raining.

Sassy Suggestion 1- update

Do you have one of these??

Yes?!?! No?!

NO?!?!?!

Well, you might as well just go ahead and flush 2012 down the drain because you are clearly blowing it.

Just kidding! Phew...aren't you glad?! Because I am sure that you just haven't gotten around to logging onto http://fairydogparents.org/ yet because you have been so extremely busy planning your Gramma Pearl's 114th birthday celebration. But I am equally as certain that TODAY was Gramma's big bash and that as soon as you tuck her into her flannel pj's that you got her for her birthday, you are going to help these sweet little animals and their owners.

And as IF you need any additional motivation...you actually get wings for doing this. So, just picture yourself as the next VS supermodel strutting the runway in a huge pair of angel wings and I'm sure that will light some fire under your slacker arse. 

Yes, I only donated $10!! I didn't say you had to give an arm to these people, geez. Any organization that sends you a handwritten thank you note is probably worth the dollars you were going to spend on a pack of donut holes and a coffee.