Single and ready to....

pass the fu&k out.

The husband was out of town this week. He likes to tell me how much he works and how long his days are and how hard the wind blows and how bad it hurts to get sand in his eyes. He's in the desert, yes. He is also hanging out with a bunch of dudes, blowing shit up. Now, I could be wrong, but that mostly sounds like any guys dream week. Not only do they get a break from their lovely wives, but they also get to be warriors and bomb the hell out of things with no repercussions.

Doesn't he look cool and important and yummy and warrior-istic? 

Oh, me? What did I do while he was away besides long for his return? (I wouldn't even read all the crap that I'm about to type out if I were you.) 

Wake up, feed the baby, change the baby, walk the dogs, scold Fritz for trying to fight two dogs, scold Fritz for biting his brother because he couldn't get to said dogs, soothe screaming mad baby because she wants to take a nap but doesn't actually want to take a nap, brush my teeth, workout, stop halfway through, feed baby, change baby, pet the dog, talk sweet to the dog because of my guilt for ignoring dog, watch dog scoot his butt across the floor for the 1700th time, make a note to call the vet, spray anti-itch oil on dog's butt, then blow on it so it will dry before he licks it off, eat a protein bar, warm coffee from 3 hours earlier, forget it in the microwave, wonder what the microwave really does to our food, coo at baby, love on the baby, try to sing a song but I don't know one, feed the baby, rock the baby, she backhands me, I rock more and harder, she screams, she's mad, she pokes me in the eye, I rock and rock, baby falls asleep, I creep to the crib to lay her down, she wakes up bright-eyed and laughs at me, I take a shower, feed baby, change baby, walk the dogs, the same dog that Fritz tried to bite this morning is in front of our house again, wish ill-will on the old lady who walks her perfectly well-behaved dog next to my house, bring dogs back home, continue walking baby, walk faster to get nervous energy out, come home, take trash out while baby sleeps in stroller, baby wakes up, hold baby while I pee because now we apparently have terrible separation anxiety...feed baby, play with baby........................microwave a potato and drink wine from a bottle after baby goes to bed.

Right back at ya, husband. 

Holy Chickens and Angry Gays

I am almost at a loss for words that it is August 1 already. Where has the time gone?.."The days are long, but the years are short." (Yes, I saw that on Pinterest.) Anyway, I can't believe this was my first thought when I started this blog entry. I guess its all down hill from here (I AM 30 now). Pretty soon I'll be talking about the weather, my blood pressure, and my weekly hair appointments to the hair salon where I get my short bob washed and sausage-roll-curled.

Ehh, but in the mean time...let's talk about Chick-fil-A!! Yes, that should be fun. We will talk about the evil chicken place and everyone will get their feathers ruffled.

So, of course you have heard what that bible-beatin' Dan Cathy said about not agreeing with same-sex marriages?? I'm paraphrasing here, but basically he just said that he thinks we are walking on thin ice with God as we arrogantly try to redefine what marriage is.

Can someone please explain to me why his opinion cannot just be his opinion without everyone getting all red-faced and sweaty? We (and I am using all-inclusive pronouns on purpose here) expect that people of faith respect and accept our decisions/lifestyles/beliefs/desires/sexual preferences/etc/etc/etc, so why does it not go both ways?

Now listen, I've said it before and I'll say it again...I am of the mindset of live and let live. I could not care less who gets married really. It is not up to me to judge and even if it was, I wouldn't. I love everyone...well, as much as I CAN love everyone. But that's not very much as you all should know. Anyway, if God comes down and wants to send every sinner sliding down the slippery slope to hell then that's up to Him. (whatever constitutes a sinner who's sins are worthy enough of going to hell for...that's still up in the air among us humans it seems *rolling my eyes and sighing really loud*)  But regardless, this whole thing is totally ridiculous to me. If he had said something like gay people are not welcome in our establishments, then I can see the outrage, but he didn't say that did he? And really, what did you expect him to say?!? The place isn't even open on Sundays!

Every single person has their opinion on what should and should not be happening. Personally, I think the amount of chickens they kill is completely effing unwarranted and I hate every second of it. I'd like to make it illegal and punishable by death to kill any animal, but despite my efforts to influence those around me and start a mass protest for the animals of the world, my own husband still rummages through the meat selection at the grocery store and gets really excited about a good slab of meat. Not to mention, my dogs both eat venison and turkey dog food.

I know this is not an animal rights post (well, all my posts are animal rights simply because I love animals more than humans and I am writing this damnit!) But anyway, I am just saying that this man, this bastard man!!, said his opinion on something and now we have drawn battle lines about it. And I can't help but think that surely there is something else we can be outraged about?

And no, I am not downplaying the need for equality in the world and I feel strongly that all things (uhhmm, including animals) should be equal regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, and so on and so forth, but is Chick-fil-A really the battle that's going to accomplish this?

Furthermore!!!!, what happened to freedom of speech people!? Geez! Has this damn country lost its mind?? Maybe we shouldn't be called "America" anymore because if we can't even say our opinion then clearly, this is not the land of the free.

This whole thing will eventually calm down and Dan Cathy's comment is not actually going to affect the rights of gay men and women, just as the boycotting and the evil hisses towards Chick-fil-A are not going to shut down the establishment. It stays open because human beings like to sink their carnivorous teeth into a piece or ten of chicken and that's not going to stop just because the president of the company doesn't agree with gay marriage.

Good gawd this is so exasperating. Gay marriage supporters: change doesn't happen overnight! But I mean, don't you know that it WILL happen? I do.

Can't everyone just calm down and be glad that you are a part of the highest group on the food chain and nobody is keeping you in a cage, letting you get just fat enough to eat your ass?

Tootle-oo.

PS. I have on rainbow socks today and am eating a brownie from Chick-fil-A.

Gay Marriage and Dog Breeds

I am quite sure that I will perhaps regret writing this post, but I'd really like to hear some opinions.

Unless you have recently visited Pluto, you have probably heard the recent commotion about gay marriage. I know I have. Everyone is real, real angry at North Carolina right about now. I've seen people talking about this issue, then leave the conversation and immediately stick their finger in an electrical outlet and start eating erasers off of pencils. Its bad out there.

The point is, they are frazzled and pissed!

While I know there are varying opinions from here to there and all in between, in a recent conversation, someone said that they just wanted it to be called something different if two men or two women were to wed. Like, not "marriage". These people can be married in their opinion, but they have to make a new word for it because "marriage" is taken damnit! **and then they threw their lollipop in the dirt and stomped away** Now, with the risk of getting anthrax mailed to me, I'll say my opinion on the issue.

 I don't care who gets married. As far as the religious standpoint; well, "us religious people" can't pick and choose what we want to uphold from the Bible, in my opinion. Sorry. Would I love for everyone to live exactly as God would like us to live? Yes. But I'd also like 765 billion to magically appear in my bank account tonight also and well, that's not going to happen. Nobody, even the most religious people in the world, knows exactly how God wants us to treat other people, so we have to just do the best we can. I care a whole lot more about abortion and the death penalty than I do if a man wants to sign a freaking piece of paper and marry another man. Or woman and woman. Gah, I always feel like I have to be all-inclusive. But let me tell you, its all fun and games until the marriage certificate is signed! ;)

BUT, I can see the point of the person who just wants it to be called something different. I know, you just slammed your hands on your keyboard and started sweating when you just read that, but come on. It is kind of like calling all dogs Miniature Schnauzers. I mean, not all dogs are schnauzers. Some are German Shepherds and some are Poodles. Okay, now you're really mad because I've made a dog comparison. I just said I didn't care who got married or on what planet they chose to live!

So, do you think the nation could stop ripping each other's heads off if gay marriage was simply called something different? What's your opinion? Why? And yes, I realize there is much more to the issue than just what its called. But this is my blog and I run the discussion around here! Its not a democracy. Hehe. Kidding sheesh. Lawdamercy its always something around here. (America) If we're not mad about the war and the economy, then its gas prices, and if its not gas prices, its how much Beyonce spent on a room to birth her blue baby or that Octomom had 8 babies while she was on welfare or how much New Jersey paid for Whitney Houston's funeral. I wonder if we will ever just calm the eff down?

And, can I just add that I haven't stopped laughing at Obama since he decided today that he supports gay marriage. I'll back that up with the fact that I've been at work and haven't been able to read or watch the news, so perhaps there is something I'm missing, but I am pretty sure that he just realized this is an election year. I felt sorry for people who fell for his exquisite speaking ability and charming personality during the last election year and I feel sorry for them now. Bless.

Okay, now that I've made you mad...ta-ta! Delete me if you have to! And for the record, I love Jesus and I love human rights! (Not as much as animal rights, but still...)

On this day in 2009...

Facebook told me today that on this day in 2009, my status said, "Jenny Leigh Adams is a very happy girl :)"

I distinctly remember where I was when I wrote this and why. Its funny how things happen and how fast two years can pass us by as it feels like just yesterday to me. This moment is so vivid in my memory and when I close my eyes for just a second, I can almost return to this day and remember everything about it. I can certainly remember the genuine smile that was coming from my heart and soul that day. I was standing in my bathroom, having just gotten home from a jog, which by the way, was NOT why I was so happy. I did not then, and do not now like jogging, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, right? So I was standing in the bathroom, about to shower and get ready for the night ahead and I was feeling overwhelmingly happy .

A week or so earlier, I had taken a beach trip with a group of friends. One of which was a loud, overbearing, stubborn, opinionated, arrogant, annoying asshole of a guy that I couldn't get away from fast enough who, as the weekend went on, became the sweetest, most thoughtful, smart, generous, comforting, attentive, funny guy that I couldn't get enough of. It just so happens that the guy that made me so happy in 2009, just became my husband :)

So, on this day in 2011, Jenny Leigh Adams Layman is still a very happy girl :)

First dinner in Destin, FL August 2009

Newlyweds in NC, August 2011